Politically comedic monologues for women

I look after the house for him, but I go home at one oРІР‚в„ўclock on Wednesday, only IРІР‚в„ўve got a nice plate of sardines to put my feet up with, because itРІР‚в„ўs the royal whatРІР‚в„ўs-itРІР‚в„ўs called on the telly - the royal you know - whereРІР‚в„ўs the paper, then? And if itРІР‚в„ўs to do with letting the house then youРІР‚в„ўll have to ring the house-agents, because theyРІР‚в„ўre the agents for the houseРІР‚В¦.

The one who writes the plays, thatРІР‚в„ўs him, only now he writes them in SpainРІР‚В¦ No, sheРІР‚в„ўs in Spain, too, theyРІР‚в„ўre all in Spain, thereРІР‚в„ўs no one hereРІР‚В¦ Am I in Spain? No, IРІР‚в„ўm not in Spain, dear. BrentРІР‚в„ўs not hereРІР‚В¦He lives here, yes, but he donРІР‚в„ўt live here now because he lives in SpainРІР‚В¦ Mr. I canРІР‚в„ўt open sardines and answer the phone.

Dotty is not only a principal investor in the playРІР‚в„ўs production but cherishes the role of Mrs. Who doesnРІР‚в„ўt love an audition where youРІР‚в„ўre playing a character auditioning to play a character? This play-within-a-play features Dotty Otley, a washed-up actress who has a flare for the dramatics.

РІР‚СљI canРІР‚в„ўt open sardines and answer the phoneРІР‚В¦РІР‚Сњ РІР‚вЂњ Dotty Otley from РІР‚ВNoises OffРІР‚в„ў And on a scale of 10РІР‚В¦.they gave me for dance 10. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition. I mean IРІР‚в„ўd dance rings around the other girls and find myself in the alley with the other rejects. So I said: Fuck you, Radio City and the Rockettes! IРІР‚в„ўm gonna make on Broadway! Of course, what he was trying to tell me wasРІР‚В¦it was the way I looked, not the fankicks. And this man said to me: Can you do fankicks? РІР‚вЂњ Well, sure I could do terrific fankicks. I showed up at the Music Hall with my red patent leather tap shoes. Wrong! I had to wait 6 months for an audition. Well, with that kind of talent I figured the Mayor would be waiting for me at Port Authority. I could do a hundred and eighty degree split and come up tapping the Morse Code. I looked like a fucking nurse! I had 87 dollars in my pocket and seven years of tap and acrobatics. Get the picture? Anyway, I got off this bus in my little white shoes, my little white tights, little white dress, my little ugly face, and my long blonde hair РІР‚вЂњ which was natural then. I was ugly, skinny, homely, unattractive and flat as a pancake. Merry Christmas РІР‚вЂњ and never made it back to Radio City. Unfortunately though, she got knocked up over Christmas. A goddamn parade! I twirled a frigginРІР‚в„ў baton for two hours in the rain. Well, she came home one Christmas to visit, and they gave her a parade. See, I never heard about РІР‚СљThe Red Shoes,РІР‚Сњ I never saw РІР‚СљThe Red Shoes,РІР‚Сњ I didnРІР‚в„ўt give a fu** about РІР‚СљThe Red Shoes.РІР‚Сњ I decided to be a Rockette because this girl in my home town РІР‚вЂњ Louella Heiner РІР‚вЂњ had actually gotten out and made it in New York. РІР‚СљSo, the day after I turned 18, I kissed the folks goodbye, got on a Trailways bus РІР‚вЂњ and headed for the big bad apple. This witty monologue, from the acclaimed musical, РІР‚ВA Chorus Line,РІР‚в„ў denotes one dancerРІР‚в„ўs darkly comedic journey to the Broadway stage. РІР‚СљSo, the day after I turned 18РІР‚В¦РІР‚Сњ РІР‚вЂњ Val Clarke from РІР‚ВA Chorus LineРІР‚в„ўР”В¬hances are, you and Val have at least one thing in common: youРІР‚в„ўre familiar with the trials and tribulations of auditioning. Here are 17 great comedic monologues for women: 1. Just like every actress, every monologue brings something new to the table РІР‚вЂњ especially when it comes to comedy! Next time youРІР‚в„ўre looking to slay an audition with a funny monologue (YAS, QUEEN!), peruse this diverse collection. For many performers, much of that pre-audition anxiety comes in the form of choosing a well-suited monologue. LetРІР‚в„ўs face it: preparing for an audition is nearly as stressful as the audition itself.

Politically comedic monologues for women